Barackbar

Barackbar says, "It's a TARP!"

My subconscious should write for Hollywood

Billy Bob Thornton as Don Kisssting, a balding, overweight man in his fifties ridiculed by his community because he's spent the last twenty or so years telling people about how he uses 'rock-n-roll, martial-arts race car driving' skills to defend the world (mainly, his mobile home) from constant attack by "faeries, pixies, leprechauns and that type thing." Nobody believes in him, not even his two friends (one white, one black), and certainly not his two adult sons who do their best to pretend he doesn't exist , or his wife, who is often heard screaming, "When are you going to do something about those animals that keep tearing up our back yard?!" Don often brings back 'artefacts' from his battles with the faery world, but all anyone else sees is scraps of trash and bits of mostly-eaten food. Everyone just thinks he's an old drunk - which he is.

Don decides to pass on his 'rock-n-roll, martial-arts race car driving' knowledge by selling a training video with an infomercial. His two friends are enlisted to produce the infomercial, and soon there is a casting call for hot, supermodel singers and dancers. The black friend proceeds to criticize their performances for odd, oblique reasons, while the white friend spends his time trying to convince them to have sex with him.

Meanwhile, Don is being led on by the son of 'the guy who could fund the infomercial', who is feigning interest in Don's teachings in order to manipulate Don into buying an old wreck of a car his father has been trying to sell for years. Claiming his doubt in Don's 'rock-n-roll, martial-arts race car driving' abilities stems from Don not owning a race worthy car, he proffers the wreck. Don, wanting to believe that someone finally believes in him, and to use the kid's belief as leverage to get funding for his infomercial, agrees to buy the car.


And then I woke up.

Presumably, Don fixes up the car, the town is attacked by a troll or ogre or somesuch, and Don uses the car and his 'rock-n-roll, martial-arts race car driving' skills to save the day. He is then hailed as a hero, gets his infomercial produced, and people everywhere buy his training video and follow its teachings.
868

Because they don't want to break the EULA, obviously

In the meantime, remember that if you can't understand the obvious logic behind ramming an ineffective copy-protection scheme down users' throats, then offering them a $29 "alternative" solution to circumvent that ineffective copy-protection scheme, then "holy shit you are an idiot."

LOL. Full article

861

I love this guy!

These are a couple years old now...I'm surprised no commercial applications have popped up yet.




858

Delay Tactics

I've been trying hard to avoid starting my game projects, which I should really stop doing. It's just that it took me three years to come to grips with the last programming environment I used, only to find it inadequate once I knew the ins and outs. I am in no hurry to learn another new one. Urgh.
849

Finally Fantasy 4

Finished Final Fantasy 4 in mid-July. I know, big deal, right? I didn't think so at the time, either - hence the belated posting. But, anyone who knows my gaming habits knows I almost never finish a RPG. And FF4 was the first proper RPG I ever played, and I've re-played it dozens of times over the years, yet I've never actually finished it before. So now I've finished FF1, FF4, FF6 and FF7 (though I've also played FF2, FF3, FF5, FF8 and FF10)
826

Internet Simulation Program v1

10 PRINT "Copy protection is expensive to implement, never protects
anything, hurts the consumer, and makes the pirated version more attractive."
20 PRINT "But people are STEALING! Waaaaaahhhhh!"
30 GOTO 10